How to Say “No” to Alcohol With Confidence

Those on the path of sobriety often face two challenges: 1) Avoiding temptation and staying sober and 2) overcoming the fear of others’ judgment when opting not to drink in social settings. These, plus the exhausting feeling of needing to explain themselves and their choices to others can be overwhelming, to say the least.

Whether you’ve decided to be a nondrinker, have recognized early warning signs of alcohol misuse, or identified a full-blown alcohol addiction, it’s okay to say “no.” Because of the myriad challenges you might face, below is a list of tips on how to graciously say no without shining a spotlight on yourself and the soda you’re carrying.

Keep It Simple

You’ve probably heard the phrase “less is more.” It applies here too; by giving a clean, rehearsed, and simple statement of refusal, you seem confident. Other partygoers will hear your message loud and clear without the need to pry. Simple statements could include:

• “I’m driving.”
• “I don’t drink.”
• “I want to keep a clear head.”
• “It makes me sick.”
• “I have more fun sober.”
• “I’m in recovery.”

Offer an Excuse

Some people are not comfortable with the direct approach. This is completely understandable, and you have to find the solution that works best for you. Although excuses are not at all necessary when turning down any kind of substance, if doing so makes you feel more confident in saying “no,” then try some of these tips:

• “I’m trying to lose weight, so I’m not drinking to cut out calories.”
• “My doctor told me to lay off alcohol for a while.”
• “I’m on medication and the alcohol will mix badly with it.”
• “I have a big presentation at work tomorrow and need to be in top form.”
• “I’ve been feeling dehydrated lately and a bit under the weather.”
• “I’m training for a marathon and following a strict workout and diet schedule.”

Humor Counts

If you’re the life of the party or the friend who always breaks the tension with a good joke, then use your humor here too. Some people find sarcasm disarming and it also sends a message. Here are some phrases you might practice.

• “Thanks very much, but I make enough stupid decisions sober.”
• “Thanks, I’ve dabbled in alcoholism – it didn’t work out.”
• “You know me – I’m an all-or-nothing kind of person. So tonight, it will be nothing.”
• “I’m allergic to alcohol – drinking it makes me break out in bad behavior.”

Healthy Living

As your friends and family are adjusting to your new way of life, they might be persistent in offering you a drink. They’re most likely not trying to derail you, but it probably just hasn’t hit them yet that you’re serious. They might not even understand the full extent of your problem and are trying to minimize what you’re going through.

Because your friends and family love and care for you, try bringing health into the equation. These statements might help them take you more seriously:

• “I’m not kidding; my doctor says I have a problem and need to stop.”
• “My last physical exam didn’t go so well – so I’m no longer drinking.”
• “I have a lot of living left to do and I want to do it with my liver and mind intact.”
• “Drinking gives me serious headaches, anxiety, and depression.”

Stand in Your Truth

Having an assortment of ways to say “no” to alcohol is always a good idea, especially if you are not comfortable sharing details of your personal life with others. However, it is important to remember the significance of standing in your truth, meaning telling someone directly that you are in recovery from alcohol misuse or addiction if they offer you a drink. When you say “I’m not drinking because I am in recovery” aloud, you are contributing to the destigmatization of addiction.

For example, someone who is struggling with this exact situation may overhear you and be inspired to be straightforward about their addiction, too. You may also get the opportunity to expand the awareness of addiction to the person you are speaking to. It might seem small-scale, but every little bit counts in helping to reduce uninformed judgments and subsequent mistreatment.

Take Our “Am I Addicted to Alcohol?” Self-Assessment

Take our “Am I Addicted to Alcohol” self-assessment below if you think you or someone you love might be struggling with alcohol addiction. The evaluation consists of 11 quick yes or no questions that are intended only to be used as an informational tool to gauge the severity and likelihood of an alcohol use disorder. The test is free, confidential, and no personal information is needed to receive the result.

Finding the Right Approach for You

The most important thing you can do in your recovery is find an approach that works for you. It’s a good idea to check in with yourself to remember why you’ve chosen a path of sobriety and what might happen if you renege on that intent. Remind yourself that recovery from alcohol addiction is not a linear process. Be sure to continually foster a network of support that can help you get through the challenging times.

Pick a few different phrases that you are comfortable using in social settings. Practice them at home or with a loved one, and then they will come out more naturally when you’re in a social setting. With time, you can become accustomed to how to handle inquisitions from all types of people in various settings, helping to solidify your confidence in your recovery.