Speedballing: My Ride on the Roller Coaster
I was introduced to speedballing by a heavy cocaine addict.
I was pacing the house a half-hour after snorting a few lines, fidgeting, trying to relieve some of the anxiety I was feeling. My friend was packing a bowl of spice because we both knew the anxiety would go away when I hit it.
That’s essentially what speedballing is: using an upper (coke) and a downer (spice) to confuse the brain and to ward off the negative effects of both drugs. Coke’s negatives being anxiety and restlessness, and spice’s negatives being sleepiness and lethargic behavior.
I didn’t realize how dangerous the side effects of speedballing would be until I had my first cocaine overdose.I didn’t realize how dangerous the side effects of speedballing would be until I had my first cocaine overdose. Along with confusing the brain with the mix of uppers and downers, it makes it seem like your tolerance is lower, so I did more coke than I could handle. Normally, I know when I’ve taken too much but this time I didn’t realize it until I was retching all over the bathroom and passing out on the tile floor. I survived that experience because I wasn’t alone. I never would have gotten off that vomit covered bathroom floor by myself and I’m sure I would have died.
The question to ask is: why are people doing this to themselves? The answer is simple enough, for the intense high. You go up and then drop down a little to rocket back up and back down and finally you take a large amount of downers and drift off to sleep, avoiding the negatives of coming down off the uppers. Normally my friend and I would make a night of it, once on the weekend. Eventually it became the only thing I looked forward to, but it wasn’t something I could do every day. It’s an expensive habit.
I’ve watched some people speedball with heroin and coke. Some would snort both, others would mix the two substances in the same syringe…I’ve never tired heroin, but I’ve watched some people speedball with heroin and coke. Some would snort both, others would mix the two substances in the same syringe and inject it. Heroin and coke is the most lethal combination for speedballing, but you can mix any upper and downer to achieve a similar effect.
Speedballing is not for the faint of heart, and it’s not a common trend with casual users. When you participate in speedballing of any kind, you are asking for death. I know I had a death wish; I just wanted to ride that ride to get there because there’s nothing else like it in the world.
I wanted to die, but I wanted to go out in the blaze of glory that speedballing makes you feel. Vomit-covered, heart racing, spasming – a wreck of a human thinking she found heaven in a drug only to wake up to a messy reality.
Also Read: Candid Confessions of a Spice Addict
Amy Williams is a pseudonym for a 22-year-old female student in Indiana