AA Step 3: Made a Decision to Turn Our Will and Our Lives Over to the Care of God as We Understood Him
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) has long been a beacon of light for those struggling with alcohol addiction. With chapters all over the world, the program is designed to help people end their dependence on alcohol, get sober, and stay sober.1
One of the reasons that AA is so successful is the 12-Step program.2 Each step is based on a specific principle, and the entire system is designed to guide a person through healing and overcoming their addiction. The steps bring them face to face with their attitudes and personal tendencies that may have led to the addiction while teaching them how to achieve and maintain sobriety.
The 12 principles and 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous are:3,4
- Honesty – Admitted that we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
- Hope – Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
- Surrender – Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
- Courage – Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
- Integrity – Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
- Willingness – We are entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
- Humility – Humbly ask Him to remove our shortcomings.
- Love – Made a list of all the persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to all of them.
- Responsibility – Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when doing so would injure them or others.
- Discipline – Continued to take personal inventory and, when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
- Awareness – Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
- Service – Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
In this article, we will focus on Step 3, exploring what it is and how it helps someone who is dealing with alcohol use disorder (AUD) and who wants to break the cycle of addiction.
What Is Step 3 of AA?
Step 3 of AA is based on the principle of surrender. It is about recognizing that God or your higher power is greater than you. It involves placing yourself at the mercy of God or your higher power and surrendering to Him, allowing Him to direct your path. When you place your life in the hands of your higher power, you relinquish a certain degree of control. You put your will down and allow God’s will to rise up and overshadow you. You place yourself in His hands and trust Him to care for you.
Step 3 states that through your addiction, you have put yourself first, but in a way that is abusive and opens the door to self-loathing, depression, and isolation. When you put Step 3 of AA into action, it will change your attitude, your perceptions, the way you treat others, and the way you treat yourself. It helps bring everything into focus and lets you look at your situation outside of solely serving yourself. As you process through Step 3, you will be able to see how you are affecting others and how you are hurting yourself.
What Is the Purpose of Step 3 of AA?
The purpose of Step 3 of AA is to help you realize that you can’t do it all yourself. You can’t depend solely on yourself for anything, especially when you are getting sober. The mindset of relying on yourself has not worked so far—if it had, you would not have begun harming yourself and others with your actions that led to your addiction.
This is a liberating step, freeing you from the heavy burden that you have to take care of yourself and it’s all about you. It isn’t all about you. Everything you do affects someone else in some way.
This step helps you learn how to depend on someone or something else that is higher than yourself to move you toward sobriety.5 Your addiction is a burden too heavy for you to carry. Giving up that control and putting it in other hands lightens your burden so that you can do the work necessary to get and stay sober.
The key to Step 3 is willingness–a willingness to do the program, to take your hands off the wheel, and to give up control. It is a willingness to surrender yourself to God or your higher power so that you can move forward.
How to Complete Step 3 of AA
Completing Step 3 of AA is a very personal journey that will look different for each person. It begins with honesty. You have to be honest with yourself that you can no longer do it alone.
It is important to give Step 3 a determined and persistent trial. This step must be completed in order to successfully complete all 12 steps.
When you start to feel overwhelmed, anxious, or out of control, re-center yourself with the serenity prayer. The simple act of reciting that prayer can ground you and bring you back to where you need to be. It can help pull you out of that spiral and help bring you back into balance.
The serenity prayer is about finding peace in the things you cannot change. It acknowledges your growth as you work to relinquish control and trust in your higher power. It expresses a desire to make the changes necessary to get sober and have a mindset of sobriety, as well as a pursuit of wisdom to recognize what you can change and what you can’t.
How Step 3 Fits into Your Recovery Journey
The strength and beauty of the 12 Steps is that they build on each other. Each step is like a brick, and you build your sobriety one at a time.4
The first two steps involve taking a realistic, honest look at your situation and admitting that you are powerless over alcohol to the point that it is negatively affecting your life. The second step helps you seek a power greater than yourself that can restore you. It is a seed of faith that makes way for you to step into the surrender of Step 3.
Step 3 prepares you for Step 4: “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” Step 4 involves documenting all of your mistakes and facing your regrets. However, after successfully completing Step 3, you aren’t walking that path alone. You have your higher power which helps provide the courage to do the right thing and move through the steps to sobriety.
Alcoholics Anonymous prepares you for living a sober life. Its methods have been proven to be effective, and it has an impressive track record of positive outcomes and successes.5,6,7 This is largely due to the 12 Steps, which encourage self-efficacy and learning healthy coping skills both in direct relation to the addiction and in interpersonal relationships.
How to Find a 12-Step AA Program
You can access the Find AA tool to be directed to local chapters, which can then direct you to meetings. You can also visit the AA Intergroup to find an online meeting. However, when you enter treatment, it may be part of the program. In some rehab facilities, AA is introduced as part of group therapy. You can start attending meetings there, then transition to a meeting near your home or work once you complete rehab.
Rehab can be a good time to begin AA because it often starts with the Step 1, which is admitting that alcohol is a problem for you and it is negatively affecting your life. You probably won’t be introduced to the program immediately, especially if you are going through drug and alcohol detox, but at some point, it may be integrated into your treatment plan.
If you are participating in inpatient addiction treatment or intensive outpatient programs (IOPs) for drug and alcohol addiction, you will likely begin the program onsite. This may also be the case if you are going through a partial hospitalization program (PHP) for addiction. Outpatient programs for drug and alcohol addiction may have meetings onsite, but it’s likely you will be given a list of meetings around your home and work.
If you are traveling for business, visiting friends, or on vacation you can look for meetings using the Find AA online tool. One of the many advantages of AA is that you can attend meetings wherever you are. In fact, it is strongly encouraged that you know the time and location of at least one meeting in your area when you are away from home.
Start Your Recovery
If you are struggling with alcohol addiction, help is available. American Addiction Centers (AAC) can help you find a rehab facility even if you are already in a 12-Step program. Even if you have tried AA and slipped, we can help you get back on the right track. Rehab can help you overcome your problem with alcohol and give you a fresh start in your 12-Step program.
You can start by using the Rehabs.com treatment directory to find a rehab facility. Once you have found a few rehab facilities that interest you, call us or use the AAC insurance verification tool to verify your health insurance coverage for addiction treatment and see what it covers.
If you don’t have insurance, you still have options for rehab. Take a look at our resource, How Can I Go to Rehab Without Insurance?
If you are ready for rehab, give us a call. Let us help you on your journey to sobriety. Call .