Talking to Your Kids About Going to Drug or Alcohol Rehab

When a parent goes to rehab, it can be challenging to know what to say to children. Entering an addiction treatment program is a courageous thing to do, and talking to loved ones about rehab is an important step. It can be helpful to consider how to tell your children you’re going to rehab and how to explain rehab to children of different ages. While they may not understand everything about it, children may find comfort knowing that they can visit while parents are in rehab and that a parent choosing to get treatment is a step toward recovery and rehabilitation.

How to Tell Your Children You’re Going to Rehab

When it comes to talking to your kids about rehab, there is no one right way to do it, and the messages you share with your child about your journey to recovery can be tailored to best fit their age, their level of development, and the unique dynamics of the relationship you share together.¹ Some things to keep in mind when preparing to tell a child about going to rehab include:²

• Choose the right time and place to discuss it.
• Remind them it is not their fault.
• Take full responsibility for your actions and choices.
• Validate their feelings.
• Provide reassurance.
• Speak honestly.
• Help them express their concerns.
• Connect them with educational resources.
• Ensure they have other adult support systems in place to care for them while you’re away.
• Have a plan for when they will see you and talk to you and share it with them.
• Keep them informed along the way and communicate with consistency.

Researchers suggest that helping a child separate their parent from their parent’s behavior is an important distinction and can help in the process of acceptance when a loved one is seeking treatment.³ It is also important that children are assured that their parent’s addiction and need for treatment is not their fault.³

Children may feel many different emotions related to their parent’s substance use, including anger, embarrassment, shame, and fear.⁴ Recognizing the emotional impact of a parent’s addiction and treatment can help inform what to say to their kids when they’re going to rehab. The children of parents with substance use disorders may be at increased risk for anxiety, depression, and poor emotional regulation.⁴

Explaining Rehab to Children of Different Ages

Kids of all ages are more susceptible to emotional and behavioral issues when they have a loved one who struggles with substance abuse, but it is important to consider age when talking about addiction and treatment with children.⁵

Infants and toddlers, despite being so young, may still recognize and experience the impact of a parent suffering from substance use disorder. Children of this age can benefit most from a caregiver who is calm and helps them feel safe.⁶ Even very young children can benefit from reassurance that everything will be okay, but parents should steer away from long explanations as a child this young will not understand and could become more confused or overwhelmed.⁶ A parent leaving for treatment may also want to ensure their infant or toddler is familiar with the person that will be caring for them while the parent is away.⁶

For elementary-age children, it may be helpful to assist your child in identifying and naming their feelings about their parent leaving for treatment.⁷ A child of this age may benefit by reading books and watching videos that explain different emotions and how to express them in healthy ways.⁷ Children also enjoy the company of their caregivers and can benefit from being joined in play with an activity of their choosing, which creates a safe and accepting environment for them.⁷ They can experience decreased worry and feel more prepared when a caregiver lets them know what to expect and guides them on how they can ask for what they need while their parent is away at rehab.⁷

Older children and adolescents may benefit most from a parent who is straightforward and honest with them and allows them to express their concerns, frustrations, and fears related to their parent seeking treatment.⁸ They may need sympathy and understanding about their feelings as well as reassurance that their parent’s struggle is not their fault or doing.⁸ They may benefit from educational resources that can clarify some of their questions related to substance use and addiction treatment.⁸

Can My Kids Visit Me While I Am at Rehab?

Visitation is something that will vary based on the facility providing treatment, and it may not be the best idea for children to visit depending on the situation. In most cases, though, including family members in treatment assists in achieving sustainable recovery.⁹

A parent may want to ensure that the facility they are receiving treatment in provides a safe and calm environment so that their child does not become more distressed when they visit. It may also be important to predict and prevent any scheduling challenges as canceling a visit may further exacerbate a sense of instability for a child. Furthermore, a parent should ensure they are in a place mentally and emotionally to be able to comfort and communicate with their child in an effective way during a visitation to promote reassurance and hope.

Taking the First Step Toward Recovery

Seeking detox services and drug/alcohol rehab is a brave and important step. There are many benefits of treatment and recovery, including improved relationships with loved ones like your children. Engaging in treatment for substance misuse can instill family members with hope and restore trust to begin to rebuild relationships with the people you love.

Treatment for drug and alcohol addiction will likely include family therapy, solution-focused brief therapy, and other evidence-based modes of treatment, including methods for the treatment of co-occurring disorders.⁹ Find the right inpatient or outpatient rehab for you using our online directory and get started on your journey to recovery today. Call to speak with one of our compassionate and caring professionals about getting treatment, or check your insurance coverage below.