Repairing Relationships Damaged By Addiction

If you’re living with drug or alcohol addiction, it’s likely that your relationships have been affected by substance use disorder. Whether you’re considering recovery or you’ve already started the recovery process, it’s important to know that relationships harmed by addictions can often be repaired. 

This article will discuss the negative impact addiction can have on relationships, how you can begin the process of relationship repair during your recovery, and how you can learn more about getting started on your recovery. 

The Impact of Addiction on Relationships

When you’re living with addiction, it can be hard to prioritize anything outside of your substance use. The compulsive need to consume alcohol or use substances can take over your life, leaving little time for the people around you. As a result, addiction can directly affect everyone in your life, leading to interpersonal conflict and damage to close relationships. Thankfully, there is hope for repairing relationships after getting sober.

How Families Are Impacted by Addiction

Often, family units are hugely affected by addiction, as it causes chaos, unpredictability, and emotional distress in the family unit. Over time, the entire family dynamic can become centered around the person living with alcohol or drug addiction.¹ Family members often develop coping mechanisms in response to the chaos of addiction, which can sometimes look like unhealthy or reactive behaviors. For a family that is in the midst of active addiction, these behaviors are frequently referred to as “roles”. 

These common roles can include:

• The enabler, or a family member who tries to “protect” the person with addiction from suffering the consequences of their actions. 
• The hero, or a family member who overachieves in an effort to make their family appear respectable to others.
• The scapegoat, or the family member who acts out as a means of attracting attention to themselves rather than the person with the addiction.
• The lost one, or a family member who becomes quiet and withdrawn, often fading into the background. 
• The mascot, or a family member who brings humor to the family unit, however that humor is usually more destructive than healing. They may make inappropriate or insensitive jokes, and can sometimes hinder their loved one’s potential recovery.

It is important to remember that these roles aren’t being taken on intentionally by family members, rather they are a byproduct of being in survival mode. Whether the family member with the addiction seeks help or not, it is imperative for the family to get help for themselves so they can avoid these behaviors and patterns of living. 

How Friendships are Impacted by Addiction

Addiction can strain and even sever friendships over time. Many people who are living with addiction neglect friends and seek out those who enable their behavior. Friends of people living with addiction may feel manipulated, lied to, or emotionally drained. Watching someone they care about misuse substances can be painful, especially if their efforts to provide support are refused.

How Marriages and Partnerships are Impacted by Addiction

Romantic relationships face unique challenges when addiction is present. One partner may feel more like a caretaker than an equal, which can lead to resentment, exhaustion, and burnout. Financial instability, secretive behavior, and dishonesty can compound these issues. Often, people in relationships with a person suffering from addiction experience codependency—an unhealthy relationship dynamic in which one partner’s needs are constantly sacrificed for the other. 

How to Start Repairing Relationships in Recovery

Recovery isn’t just about stopping drinking or drug use; it’s also about rebuilding your relationships. While this may seem difficult, it’s far from impossible. Fortunately, there are several frameworks for rebuilding relationships in recovery.

Some of the most common steps that people take to rebuild relationships in recovery include:

1. Making Amends & Taking Accountability for Past Actions

Acknowledging the harm your addiction may have caused is a powerful first step. Making amends involves more than simply saying “I’m sorry.” It means actively taking responsibility, understanding the pain others may have felt, and being open to hearing how your actions impacted them. In 12-Step programs, this step is often seen as essential to emotional growth and healing.

2. Rebuilding Trust

Trust takes time to restore, especially if it’s been broken repeatedly. Be consistent with your words and actions. Avoid making promises you can’t keep. Understand that your loved ones may be skeptical at first, and give them space to rebuild their faith and trust in you at their own pace.

3. Prioritizing Others

Recovery teaches people to consider the feelings, needs, and boundaries of others—something that addiction can impair. By showing up emotionally and physically for the people in your life, you begin to reestablish your presence as a reliable and loving individual.

4. Learning Healthy Communication Styles

Clear, honest communication is crucial in any relationship. In recovery, individuals often learn how to express themselves without anger, manipulation, or defensiveness. Active listening, using “I” statements, and staying present in conversations can help repair emotional intimacy. Family therapy can help you and your loved ones learn healthier communication patterns.² 

5. Identifying Unhealthy Relationships

Not every relationship is meant to continue in recovery. Some connections, particularly those tied to using substances, may be unhealthy or toxic. Part of healing involves recognizing which relationships are worth repairing and which may need to end for your own well-being.

Start Your Recovery

If you’re living with addiction or are wondering how to help a loved one who is living with addiction, our team at American Addiction Centers (AAC) can help.

For many, alcohol or drug addiction treatment begins with medical detox, where you can get the support you need to manage withdrawal symptoms as you prepare for rehab. From there, you may benefit from and inpatient addiction treatment or anoutpatient addiction treatment program (such as partial hospitalization rehab programs or intensive outpatient addiction treatment programs),depending on your needs.

Do not wait any longer to get help. Reach out to us today at to be connected to a compassionate admissions navigator who can help you verify your insurance coverage, obtain further information about getting started with addiction treatment, and much more.